Gut instinct is a really a gift: a biological present that says, “Hey! Listen up! I’ve got a read on this situation here…”. What a pity that I usually choose to ignore my gut. Sometimes, you just know what you’re getting into when you look at a person. You just know. When I get that feeling, I stupidly talk myself out of it, telling myself I’m being too judgmental or overly cautious. Just like John #2, when I saw Jon #4’s picture I saw: Trouble. Like I hadn’t been bruised badly enough by the John #2 debacle… ugh. But Jon have that easy, confident smile and wore these adorable dark rimmed glasses. He was tall – I love tall and seemed fun. After several emails over several weeks with bouts of no contact, and no hint at speaking or meeting - I suspected Jon was a guy just looking for an email flirt. It seemed strange to me – why bother? We went off and on like this for 2 months. I didn’t push meeting nor did I hold my breath that he would initiate a meeting despite his repeated suggestions that we should meet for “checkers and tea”. Earlier on, I had joked with him by asking him if “checkers” was code for something else. The tone of sexual innuendo was set and continued over the 2 months. He asked me for my number but then never called. A couple of weeks later, he emailed me again. I didn’t respond because I had had enough of his games. He sent another email when I didn’t reply asking me if he had “blown it” with me. I teased that I was just playing hard to get. He said he swore he would call this time and he did. We had a lively chat – lots of laughing and joking. As I had suspected, we seemed very compatible. The phone call turned into some emails while still on the phone, where unexpectedly sent me a picture titled “pure art”. He had sent me an “artsy” self (nude!) portrait of himself! When I opened the picture with him still on the phone I screamed. He did not expect this reaction. We laughed and he apologized, not thinking I would take offense. I doctored the picture up a bit – with various photo finishes to make it more artsy and sent it back to him. He was so funny, smart and interesting that I went along with it all. So much so that before the end of the evening I had sent him an “artsy” shot of me!
We arranged to meet the following evening but it had turned into a sexual encounter rather than a real date. In hindsight, I’m not sure why I agreed to it, but it was fun. It’s not what I had intended while getting to know him but, obviously that’s all he wanted. We met another kink-fest after that and that was fun too. He texted me frequently though I had no idea how it could possibly go the direction I truly wanted it to. He kept up sporadic contact for a couple months after we met until he invited me over one evening to watch a movie as a kind of “restart”. Instead of watching a movie, we talked and talked (we hadn’t done much of that on our two prior “dates”) and laughed and laughed. The evening had gone so well, I felt very optimistic. He had shared a lot of personal stuff with me – like he was a recovering pill addict – clean for 9 months. We talked about past relationships, about our kids, about everything. “Slingblade” happen to come on while we were talking and he broke into superb Billy Bob Thornton impression. I performed my Fat Bastard impression. A good time was had. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t fool around with him but I didn’t have to worry, he didn’t make a move. After 5 straight hours of talking, he walked me to my car and gave me a big hug. He texted me the next day, saying how nice it was. Then I never heard from him again.
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